Choosing an Executor: Who to Ask and What to Tell Them

Most people put a name in a will and never mention it to the person. Then, years later, that person gets a phone call at the worst moment of their life and has no idea where to start.

Pick someone steady, not someone impressive. The best executor is usually organised, calm and reachable, and willing to ask for professional help when the estate gets complicated. Closeness helps, but patience and follow-through matter more. Think about age, where they live, and whether they have the time.

Ask them first. Ask in person, explain what it involves in plain words, and let them say no. A reluctant executor is a delay waiting to happen. It is also kind to name a back-up in case your first choice cannot serve.

Then tell them five things. You do not need a long document. You need answers to:

- Where is my will, and who drew it up? - Which banks, insurers and pension providers do I use? - Which advisers or accountants know my affairs? - Where are the policies, property papers and vehicle papers? - Who else should be told, and who should not be surprised?

Write down where things are, never the secrets. A good list says "my life policy is with this insurer, the paperwork is in the grey box in the study". It never contains passwords or PINs. That keeps your family pointed in the right direction without creating a security problem.

Tell them what help exists. Many executors do not realise they can use an attorney, accountant or trust company to carry the heavy parts. Say so, and say you would rather they did.

Keep it alive. Review the list once a year, and any time something big changes: a new account, a sold property, a new policy.

MyLegacyLivesOn is built for this conversation. You keep the list in one place, name your next of kin and verifiers, and it reaches the right people when it is needed. You can see the whole idea in our short video on executors, shown below this post.

Start with ten minutes. Take the free 2-minute readiness check to see where your family would be stuck today, or create a free account and begin your list.

General information, not legal advice. This is a planning summary, not a legal document. Bring it to a qualified estate lawyer to formalize.